Rate the Dress: Twi-hard Flop

Now I am by no means a fan of the Twilight movies, a lot of teenage melodramatic drivel if you ask me, but even I was curious about the wedding dress Bella would wear in Breaking Dawn.  If these were Anne Rice's vampires I might have been able to bet on what it might look like but, alas, they are not, so I kept my money and my thoughts to myself.  Having now seen the dress though, I must confess, I am somewhat disappointed.  While I'm sure that many will flock to buy a replica of this sad effort - at $799, mind you - I can't believe that it is a true reflection of the beauty of the gown, but rather the popularity of the movies.

We are told that this gown was custom-made to Kristen Stewart's body, but it just doesn't do her any justice; and while fans rave about the lace cut-out back, I personally find it a little tacky.  I struggle to understand the modesty of the full-length sleeves if we can see the entire back of her torso.  It's almost as if the designer realised the dress was just too conservative for the new generation and tried to juice it up at the last minute.  If the cut-out back were abandoned entirely, I could appreciate this dress a lot more.  The detailing on the sleeves, if a bit old-fashioned for such a young bride, is very striking, and the buttons along the back simple and classy...  But that back!  It looks like something Cher would wear to one of her Vegas shows!  Or Britney Spears in her (thousandth) comeback video!

This dress' only saving grace!

I wish I could be nicer about this dress, I really do, but it just missed the mark entirely.  I find it difficult to believe that a young girl would choose this dress for herself.  It is, however, made of crepe satin and French Chantilly lace, and at least they had the wits about them to make it floor-length.  Were it not for "that back", I could gladly give this dress an 8/10.  Alas, the most I can muster is:
3/10